As almost everybody knows by now (the hairspray-intoxicated news media are all agog over it) the United States government, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to cure the mess it's made of our once healthy and vibrant economy by sending every taxpayer a check for about six hundred federal reserve notes, freshly-printed, just for you.
Understand that this is "fiat" money, with approximately the same intrinsic value as the dust-bunnies under your bed. It comes right out of nowhere -- a government printing press -- and although it will spend as well as any other paper currency, its creation devalues the money already in circulation (because the more there is of anything, the less valuable any given unit of it has) in a process we call "inflation".
It is essentially counterfeit, spawned by the four-flushers, idiots, and lunatics who govern us. As such, it provides us with an accurate measure of government honesty, intelligence, and sanity: in the 19th century, it took 20 dollars to buy and ounce of gold (or a quality handgun). Today, that same gold ounce or handgun -- which have not themselves changed in value since the 1800s -- will set you back somewhere between 900 and 1000 bucks.
You won't have any choice but to spend this funny money -- in fact, you need to get rid of it as fast as you can. If you put it in the bank, it will steadily decrease in value, as this program, and others to come just like it, has its poisonous effect on the economy. Far better to go out and buy something of lasting value with it while you still can. Economists who haven't sold their souls to the Federal Reserve System or the government observe that, in terms of reviving the economy, the rebate will be like trying to put out a forest fire with a thimbleful of water -- or perhaps even by throwing gasoline on it.
Nevertheless, lots and lots of desperate manufacturers and merchants are pinning high hopes on it. Car makers and dealers are generating all kinds of attractive offers at the moment on the rolling stock they seem to be having more and more trouble pushing -- although $600 will hardly pay for the door handles of most automobiles these days.
Of course the government's enthusiastic about the spending spree they anticipate, but the sad truth is that most of it will wind up in our gas tanks, funding the very villains who want to kill us most (all but one of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudi nationals), or spent on products that will enrich and aggrandize the butchers of Tienanmen Square.
A handful of libertarians and genuine conservatives are urging you to do something delightfully politically incorrect with the flimflam fiat bucks the government's sending us -- buying yourself another rifle, pistol, or shotgun, or stocking up on ammunition for the times ahead.
We here at Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership have an idea of our own, as thoroughly incorrect, politically speaking, and one that could produce lasting dividends over the next few difficult years. It's also a lot less expensive than the suggestions listed above.
To begin with, take a look at JPFO's groundbreaking documentaries on DVD, which include THE GANG: how a government agency (the notorious Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives) continues, under color of law, to destroy your rights and freedoms. $29.95, postage paid -- as is everything below -- at http://www.thegangmovie.com/
Then there's the award-winning INNOCENTS BETRAYED. One hundred seventy million (170,000,000) civilians were murdered by their own governments in the 20th century alone. One hundred seventy million men, women, and children who were defenseless to protect themselves. One hundred seventy million victims of gun control. Also $29.95, postage paid.
JPFO's famous "GRAN'PA JACK" comics for kids, their parents, and grandparents are here: We're up to eight, now and they are:
Gran'pa Jack #1 -- Gun Control Kills Kids! -- $3.00
Gran'pa Jack #2 -- Can You Get a Fair Trial in America? -- $3.00
Gran'pa Jack #3 -- It's Common Sense (To Use Our Bill of Rights) -- $4.00
Gran'pa Jack #4 -- Gun Control is Racist! -- $3.00
Gran'pa Jack #5 -- The United Nations is Killing Your Freedoms! -- $3.00
Gran'pa Jack #6 -- Will Gun Control Make You Safer? -- $3.00
Gran'pa Jack #7 -- Do Gun Prohibitionists Have a Mental Problem? -- $3.00
Gran'pa Jack #8 -- Is America Becoming a Police State? -- $3.00
The Gran'pa Jack "Starter Pack" ($20.00) offers a healthy discount on the entire collection, while the Gran'pa Jack "Economy Pack" ($32.00) offers an even better deal.
While we're on the subject of kids, don't forget GOODYGUNS -- a pair of handgun-shaped cookie cutters, one an automatic, one a revolver, that will delight the whole family and give school administrators the First and Second Amendment migraine they deserve! $9.95 (or two for $16.95, with toothpick American flags and two "Gran'pa Jack comics) at http://www.goodyguns.com/
JPFO offers many books, fiction and nonfiction. The collection includes:
DIAL 911 AND DIE by Richard Stevens, a shocking account that centers on the ultimate Catch 22: the state doesn't want you able to defend yourself, but it denies any obligation to protect you. $14.95.
"GUN CONTROL": GATEWAY TO TYRANNY by Aaron Zelman, concerns sweeping firearms registration and confiscation programs in Nazi Germany and other places and how they inevitably led to mass exterminations. It also discusses how the 1968 Gun Control Act, empowering BATFE, was based on Nazi laws. (See our handbill regarding Senator Tom Dodd's part in imposing this fascist doctrine on America.) $19.95.
DEATH BY "GUN CONTROL": THE HUMAN COST OF VICTIM DISARMAMENT by Aaron Zelman and Richard W. Stevens, with an introduction by James Bovard. $19.95.
REBELFIRE: OUT OF THE GRAY ZONE, a novel by Claire Wolfe & Aaron Zelman. Trapped in future Surveillance State, where dreams are treated with drugs and roving patrols make sure you take your dose. This is something you'll want your children to read, since it concerns the world they'll have to live in if we don't act to avoid it. $19.95.
THE MITZVAH by Aaron Zelman and L. Neil Smith, "for those who love freedom -- and for those who should". A catholic monsignor -- and ardent pacifist -- discovers his real identity and learns to fight for freedom. $13.95.
You'll also find an excellent collection of colorful and highly provocative bumper stickers (and links to many more JPFO products) for various prices at: http://shop.jpfo.org/cart.php?m=product_list&c=17
Finally, if you want a strategy that's guaranteed to win the fight for freedom, take a look at TAKE YOUR MONEY BACK, a revolutionary new program for defunding the state, while making everybody richer and freer. Learn how you can save 40% on your guns, and everything else you buy. To get started, follow the simple instructions you'll find at: http://www.TakeYourMoneyBack.com and order the 11-minute version for a paltry $4.95.
One last thought about your coming "rebate". I wonder if there's anyone among our readership who doesn't understand that money, first and foremost, is a civilization's most vital means of communication. The information it conveys is "price" -- a special term in the "dismal science" of economics -- which tells the folks who produce the goods and services we need how much to produce and how much to charge for it.
A government monopoly on money is censorship.
Inflation is a lie.
Societies -- the late, unlamented Soviet Union, for instance -- that put ideological constraints on price, wind up making bread that tastes like shoe leather, shoes as durable as bread, and too much or too little of both. For an economy to prosper, everyone participating in it must be able to vote -- with their dollar -- on what they want and how much they're willing to part with to get it. That's the way producers know what and how much to produce, and how much they need to charge.
We're in a mess because of government-generated funny money, but you can use some or all of yours to educate yourself, and help get us out.
It's time to make your move toward a richer, freer life. --
Four-time Prometheus Award-winner L. Neil Smith
has been writing about guns and gun ownership
for more than 30 years. He is the author of 27
books, the most widely-published and prolific
libertarian novelist in the world, and is considered
an expert on the ethics of self-defense. His writings
may be seen on the following sites: